I still remember my first time at the Isenburg Center. Head down to the maschine, paying for the parking lot and then just as quickly to the car. That was at the end of February 2020. At that time it was a crazy idea to have Christian park the rental car there to get used to my next public appearance. I certainly would not have dreamed of going shopping at the IZ in my dreams.
Around 28 months later, things look very different. Although there was no rental car in the parking garage, I went shopping in the IZ. Not because I wanted to put myself under pressure, or had to, just because I wanted to. I wanted to spend the day in the home office without building up artificial stress, without having to quickly get dinner beforehand or quickly unrigging myself in the afternoon and then going shopping. Just working as Nicole, shopping during the lunch break and then continue working - just like a woman does.
After the hairdresser, the baker and the supermarket, where we otherwise never went shopping, it was now the turn of the IZ. Of course it's not as easy as I write it here. I'm still nervous, prefer to look down to the ground rather than face people directly. But just the fact that I got out without hesitation and without even wasting a thought on calling off the project makes me proud and happy. There were no big crowds or long lines, so no real reason to take out the mask. Off to the drug store and collect the first things. But of course I didn't find the last item on my list, a new make-up. Yes, the thought "then I'll get it while the next "regular" shopping" was there for a very short time. But it was gone immediately and I asked a saleswoman. This took me very courteously directly to the shelf. Then it was checkout. Standing in line wasn't that bad and when the cashier smiled at me from a few steps away I felt really good. Shopping at Rewe also went smoothly. As if fate had planned to test me, I couldn't do it without talking to a saleswoman, but she behaved completely normally and helped me very nicely.
What can I say, I'm very satisfied that I pulled it off like this. That I have created a little more freedom for myself. I wanted to write it "fought", but that's not correct anymore. I do what I would like to do and what I believe I can manage, and the latter increases with every step.
The next trip to Frankfurt is already planned and this time it's going to a restaurant in the middle of Sachsenhausen.
See you soon
Your Nicole
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