Before I continue to report on the next stations, I would like to write something on this topic. Each of us, or at least 99.9%, is looking for recognition and praise or affection. It's difficult for someone like me. Yes, one half can seek it and get it, but the other half has been hidden for a very long time. If nobody knows, then nobody can react positively. From my point of view, it gets even worse when you feel like an oddball and don't expect a positive or at least neutral reaction. The longer the state of isolation lasted, the more solidified the fear, at least for me, of getting negative feedback.
It didn't change anything that the women I was married to accepted my second self. I always felt it was my role not to burden anyone with this "problem". The first person close to me who was not in a relationship who found out about me was my best friend Claudia and she is still my help and support to this days - I would like to take this opportunity to say a very big thank you!
Why did I choose the title for today? I have of course experienced and learned over the years since I have been actively using the internet that I am not alone in my situation, that there are many in similar situations. But the internet isn't a big support group and so you can still be a bit alone, or rather feel alone, among the many people around the world.
It's nice that there are now some who have given me the feeling that I'm not alone, that I am also liked as Nicole and this from family and friends. Thank you all for that.
Next time it's going back to Frankfurt and it won't be so melancholic :)
Until then
Your Nicole
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