It was exactly five years last week since my second visit to Basel and the subsequent trip to Europa Park. Reason enough to look back and make a few comparisons.

A key difference is of course the hair, with which I feel much more comfortable and confident. But other things are different too.   After arriving, I got ready and we went outside to take a few photos. After less than 20 minutes I wanted to go back, even though there was almost nothing going on outside. I changed my clothes. Instead of the short, airy dress, I changed into jeans and boots. I felt somehow insecure and vulnerable in the dress. Of course, I wasn't the most self-confident in the jeans, but I managed to finish the photo session, take the tram into the city center and go out for dinner with Claudia. The next day in Europa Park was a nervous challenge that pushed me to my limits towards the afternoon. Dropping off in the park and going out to dinner in the evening as my male alter ego. Would I have expected back then that five years later I would be walking through Neu-Isenburg almost relaxed in a similarly short dress? No way. At that time I was expecting one or two trips to Basel, perhaps even arriving when Nicole arrived.

Of course, it was absolute madness to plan and carry out a visit to Europa Park two years after my first real outing in public. But looking back, it was a perfectly right decision through which my personality emancipated itself and began to develop further.

Even five years later, I still felt more vulnerable in a short dress than in trousers, but it doesn't stop me from going shopping in Isenburg wearing them. Street festivals in Frankfurt and Neu-Isenburg are no longer problems. Well, it's easy to write now, but how well I deal with it still depends to a certain extent on the day. Only it's no longer the break-off, but the question: Do I look back with a smile or do I cheat my way through the crowd?   Back then, I would have preferred to sink into the ground while ordering food in the park, despite Claudia at my side. Today I go shopping alone, communicate with salespeople and cashiers. At that time I backed out of having Claudia do my gel nails. Today I was in the office for the second time with those in the photo below (although without much make-up and modest clothing).

Sometimes I get the feedback “It's all normal, you're Nicole anyway, what are you worrying about, etc.” It may look like that to many who follow my life in pictures, but it still is to me a development, a surprise, a bit like a fairy tale.

I think the development continues and I hope you will accompany me on this journey.

See you soon

Your Nicole